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The WACHS Modcast

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Jan 24, 2018

This is a continuation of my earlier post about radio shows I listen to and why I listen to them, because people want to know according to surveys.
Part 1 was about The Kimmer Show and I got tired from writing it, mainly because I was laughing so much thinking about The Kimmer,
and I promised I would revisit the topic. 
So here are the remaining shows/stations I listen to these days:
70s pop, aka, Yacht Rock is my favorite musical genre. It is the musical Kodachrome of my formative years as a young Jewish-American Prince.
70s pop is heavily implicated in my love of radio, drumming and, sex.
Whenever I listen to 70s on 7 on Sirius/XM, it’s like being on the Ocean City, MD beach again playing wiffle ball and eating Tastykakes, which we never actually did, but when I listen to 70s on 7, I feel like it did happen.
70s on 7 reminds me of all the great hand jobs I got over the years to Hall & Oates, Foreigner, and Boz Scaggs records in the background.
My favorite DJ on 70s on 7 is JayBeau Jones. He’s funny and taught me a lot about how to be good on the air in the 80s. He also kicked me off of one of his radio stations in the 90s when I said Michael Jackson liked children too much on a Top 40 station. I was always ahead of my time.
JayBeau was also a groomsman in my wedding. I have photographic evidence, but it wouldn’t matter because you probably don’t know what he looks like from 70s on 7, but just know this as you listen.
Shannon Burke is solid talk radio. Good voice. Talks about local topics I care about. Tells a good story. Good pace and timing.
His sidekick, Kara Stockton, is a great find. 
Before Shannon came to town, I filled in at 106.7 and Kara was my on-air producer/girlfriend for a week, and she was really great at it.
Kara sounds like a good on-air girlfriend to Shannon Burke.
My advice to female sidekicks out there is be a good on air girlfriend. Enough of the Battle of the Sexes and the Aren’t I a Strong Fucktoy? horseshit. Listen to Robin Quivers to get the hang of it. Robin Quivers never gives a damn about what the vile men around her think. She's made a fortune. 
I’m not surprised Kara Stockton, and the Shannon Burke Show, are doing well.
People often ask me what Eric Von Haessler is really like by virtue of having worked with him for 18 years.
I point them to a scene in a movie from 2002 called The Greenskeeper, the worst movie ever made. 
The Greenskeeper, is a comedy slasher movie starring Southside Steve Rickman, me, Eric, John Ra Ra Ra Rocker, some local sluts, and some Hollywood no ones.
The Greenskeeper received a 30% on Rotten Tomatoes, 2.9/10 on IMDB, and a history making ZERO stars from the AJC.
It is a cult classic and I am proud to have been part of it.
Eric plays Trailer Park Eric in a scene that lasts maybe 15 seconds with zero dialogue. Our lead characters come out of their trailer, get into their shitty car, and give a friendly wave at their neighbor, Trailer Park Eric.
Trailer Park Eric’s response:
EVH giving the VHD
Aaaaaand scene!
Nobody who sees the movie doesn’t laugh. The role Eric was born to play. Classic. 
The Von Haessler Doctrine is just that. Take that Greenskeeper scene and expand it over 2 hours a morning and that’s the show. 
Eric blazes his FuckYou guns at all the usual libertarian targets.
If I were branding the show I’d actually call it Fuck You, I’m Smarter than You…. and Your Stupid Orange President, but it’s not a smart title. FCC regs and social norms aside, a smart title is one that uses big words that a minority of people under 50 who listen to radio understand.
The VHD is like listening to The Regular Guys in the left channel only. And half of TRG is better than no TRG at all. So be thankful.
If you’re a fan of Eric and his I’m The Smartest Person style, and you hate God, and me, you will absolutely LOVE this show!
Most of what The Highway plays are new country songs.  Lots and lots of new songs and artists that are just getting started up the ladder. 
My gal pal Breezy Boo and I use the channel to scout out new concerts that are cheap to attend. We have an excellent track record of picking artists that will be huge and seeing them early for less, before they play at giant arenas in front of large, wet crowds at confiscatory prices for the same show.
The Highway is really what your local country station, such as Kicks or The Bull, will be playing the shit out of in 3 months. 
I tune in. They have a purpose in my life. See above. I like the two chicks they have on there.
The Front Row is the kind of sports radio I like. More than just sports. It's about outside the arena too. Steak Shapiro, Sandra Golden, and every Atlanta males' man crush, Brian Finneran, host.
The Front Row stands out from the usual "Jew and a Jock" format that's all over the dial. They do the "Jew, Jock, and Lady" format. Sassy southern gal Sandra Golden is the difference maker as the only female in Atlanta sports radio, which gives the Front Row a depth of opinion and experience that the other shows lack. 
I’ve been saying to radio executives for YEARS, we are in an on demand world. Listeners want shows on THEIR schedule. 
If you want to compete today, you must make your radio station more ON DEMAND. This is where some, not all, but some, look at me as if I had just come on their tie.
“How do you do that?” they whine.
“Howard Stern does that,” I say.
The Howard Stern channels are basically live podcasts. They play shows on a loop. You can catch a whole show in a week over time. Maybe more.
People complain he’s on too little, but, actually, he’s on enough. Three 5+ hour shows a week, plus a discussion of the show show, is more than Rush Limbaugh gives a week. It’s plenty. Effective minimum dose.
I’ve always thought Stern was a more neurotic version of Donald Trump. They’re both builders. 
They both have taken bold risks to create giant leverage. They are both predators. And they both rarely lose.
The record clearly shows that Howard was an admirer of Trump up until Trump decided to become president. Just like the rest of the media. It’s fun listening to Howard struggle with the tension the Trump presidency has brought to his life and that of his peer group.
On one hand Stern likes and admires Trump. On the other hand, he’s gotta put on airs if he wants to be friends with all the big celebrities that are the Anti-Trump. 
On the 3rd hand, half his listeners are the blue collars who probably voted for Trump and they tell him when he’s full of shit. The Trump fans rile him up like I haven’t heard since the 90s before he got heavy therapy. Good stuff.
It’ll be interesting to listen to as Trump continues to rack up gains for American citizens and his political future, and Howard’s dear showbiz friends sustain karmic career casualties. Worth the $15 a month alone.
And I thank you.