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Kidding About Diddling The Kid

Jul 24, 2018

Is pedophilia a choice? Is it possible to be attracted to children BUT choose NOT to deal with them socially or sexually? Is joking about having sex with minors well within the boundaries of comedy?

That’s what today’s Hollywood Comedians are asking the public on Twitter. Testing the limits of how much depravity is now safe to surface in these confusing end times.

In the past week, some of our modern day Hollywood Comedians, many of whom are no longer funny, at least in the intentional sense, have had their suite of child touching Twitter jokes exposed by the gentle folks on 4chan and Reddit. 

I’m sure you have heard by now that big names such as Sarah Silverman, Michael Ian Black, and Guardians of the Galaxy Auteur James Gunn (real name?) decided it would be funny to tweet out jokes about having sex with helpless children. Joke after joke after joke these folks wrote. They spent HOURS writing jokes about how funny it is to prey on helpless children and ruin their lives.

Now I will say, as a country, as a culture, Americans have always had a Flirting With Disaster relationship with minor children. I believe Shirley Girl Temple was a pioneer figure in this. Shirley Girl Temple was always pushing the limits of what society expected from their children. 

One day Young Shirley would be coming out in a swimsuit cut to her little thighs, the next day she’d be dancing on stage with a black man in his 50s, roughly the age of the studio executives.

And who can forget tyke sex sensation ZHON BENAY! Who didn’t think that ZHON BENAY! was sexy?  

And yet, most Americans DID NOT have sex with her. As much as the media showed her sexy photos and sexy videos over and over and over and over, the majority of Americans REFUSED to have sex with ZHON BENAY! and her many imitators on the internet. Some did, but most did not. They made a choice. 

I’m not an expert on comedy, but I’ve had some success with understanding what people generally find funny. The Wiffle Bat Challenge segment we used to do on The Regular Guys Show was not one of them. We lost every advertiser.  They asked us, who is the audience for this because we might not want them as customers.

So I ask these woke child sex comedians, WHO IS THE AUDIENCE FOR THIS? Other than molestors and predators? I’m not saying you CAN’T tweet child sex jokes, 1st Amenedment and all, but my question is WHY WOULD YOU? What drives you to find that funny and tell it to total strangers who probably would disagree?

And this all happened around 2009-2012.  I don’t know what was happening in 2009-2012 to create this edgy new comedy fad, but for some reason it was considered a comedy gold mine in Hollywood around 2009-2012 to make infant sex jokes in public…for free.

Maybe Twitter was new and shiny then and they didn’t know that it was forever and no one would care because the Democrats were gonna hold the White House forever. 

Maybe they envisioned getting a lucrative TV franchise out of it. America’s Top Model Abuser. Comedians in Cars Getting Children. Who knows? But there is a reason they are in a tizzy, these Child Sex Jokers of Communist Hollywood, trying to defend their jokes. 

I must admit, I kinda admire the strength of comedienne Michael Ian Black.  Ms. Ian-Black unexpectedly and defiantly asserted on Twitter his right to make jokes about messing with the kids and that HIS child sex tweets would remain for all the public to see. 

I had pegged Michael Ian Black as a coward who makes jokes about having sex with children, but with this show of resolve, I must say I was mistaken, and it’s now clear to me that Michael Ian Black IS having sex with kids and is darn proud of it. And that takes guts for Mike-Ian to admit, so I apologize. Thanks for being authentic. You doing way younger you.

I turned on Howard Stern. Another one!  He’s defending one of these child sex jokesters! 

I’m starting to wonder about Howard, now. Who is this man I thought I knew about?  Does he really think child sex can be funny to normal people? What is his interest in normalizing and defending  this? Is Howard Stern one of THOSE celebrities? Did Howard Stern get turnt out in exchange for millions? I mean, he does own many cats now and has COCKTOBER cumming up again on his show this fall...sooooo.

Who else is writing these jokes? We’ll find out soon enough. 

BREAKING! The Office’s Rainn Wilson (Dwight Schrute) apparently took up kiddie porn joke writing as a comedy hobby way back in the late aughts himself. 

AAAAANNNND deleted! Just like that. Because they were too funny?

And what do you think the odds are that NONE of the growing ranks of hilarious toddler sex pizza jokers, had actual sex with a minor?

If you’re a gay person looking at all this, what do you do? It must be a crisis. 

On one hand, you’re told by the fairy tale forces of political correctness that you are a victim of a DNA thingy and your sexual behavior is governed by that. Baby, you were born this way. Nothing you can do. No choice. So here. Put on this leash and collar and be my sex slave. 

Yet on the other hand, you’re thinking, do the child molesters have a DNA Thingy too? No choice? And what does that say about my DNA Thingy, then? Is it the same DNA Thingy or a different DNA Thingy? It must be a crisis. 

I don’t see the Hollywood Comedians winning this battle and I fear who’s next. It’s all happening so fast now. The bottom line is that it’s getting harder to find a reason to watch TV and go to the movies, which may be a blessing, but I have all these expensive TVs and time and emotion invested in TV and Movies.  It’s hard to let go. What am I gonna do, read? Exercise? This really sucks. 

And I thank you.